If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
