Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
