on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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