***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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