yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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