somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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