Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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