Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize