So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
FUCK WHALES
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
