Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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