i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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