Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
