butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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