here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize