I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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