Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
