Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize