So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
