My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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