kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
