This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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