It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
