the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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