Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
