Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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