I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize