i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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