I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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