Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
