If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
being pregnant is like rehab
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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