So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
