He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
