lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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