do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize