I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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