I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
