Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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