The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
