R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
