went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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