Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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