You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
