I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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