I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
