I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
