I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
3 2 1 whiskey
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
