can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
