If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
