do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
