Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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