hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
