Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize