you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
