had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
