Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
