Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
