so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
