sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
