We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
