Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
