how can u be prego again
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
