She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
